A Letter To Maelle On Her Fourth Birthday
4 years ago today at exactly 5:18 AM you were born. My waters had been broken for 56 hours, in the hospital for 32 hours, in active labour for 12 hours, and pushed for 2 more when your heart rate started to dip with each contraction. A team of doctors and staff hurried into the room and made the decision to pull you from my body with forceps, as the risk of an infection was far too high to wait any longer. You were whisked away so quickly that your father didn't get the joy of cutting your cord; I looked into his eyes and begged and pleaded with him to tell me that everything was okay. Then, as if you heard my silent appeal, you screamed so loud and let me know that all was exactly as it should be and the battle was well worth it. What felt like an eternity later, you were placed on my chest, and at that moment my life was forever changed. I was bruised, battered, and torn in the most literal of terms while also being just as wrecked emotionally.
When I became your mom I became exactly who I was meant to be. You were everything I wanted and yet so much more than I could have imagined. My capacity to love grew infinitely as you guided me on my journey through motherhood. You were always there - my shadow and my sidekick. Without a doubt, there were challenges; a myriad of difficult times that wore me thin. You tested my patience, my adaptability, my organization, and my flexibility. You tested my ability to cope, my tenacity, and my ability to live solely on caffeine and love. You pushed me to make sacrifices and molded me into who I am now without even knowing it. I am grateful for the hard times for they have shown me the strength I am capable of. There are also moments I'm not proud of; occasions where I expected too much and let my emotions get the better of me. But there was never a time that I could have loved you more.
Just as I have grown, you too are growing, changing, and developing right before my eyes every single day. I am awestruck by the individual you are becoming; a truly beautiful human being from the inside out. Your energetic zest for life and bubbly, affectionate personality draws in every one you meet. Your determination and sassy attitude make you a force to be reckoned with. Your kind heart and thoughtful soul can soften any hardened individual. Your strength and independence will allow you to break down the barriers that any fool dares to put in your path.
You currently dream of being a veterinarian by day and a ballet dancer by night. You love art and any creative activities. You love to perform, to be the centre of attention, and to put on shows for all of us. Your favourite colours are purple and turquoise. You enjoy challenging yourself and take pride in accomplishing both physical and mental tasks. You can do the monkey bars like a boss. You do somersaults underwater and jump headlong into the deep end. You can write and are beginning to read and ride a bike. You are social, love playing with friends, spending time with family, and having fun at preschool. You are a fantastic big sister and enjoy showing off your brother. You, Maelle, are truly special.
My dear daughter, you are kind, gentle, wondrous, and sweet. I hope that the world never robs you of those qualities; that you aren't jaded by the cruelties that life can offer. Always stand up for what you believe in. When you see injustice, choose to fight it, challenge the status quo, speak up for those who can't speak for themselves. Be humble, find peace, pursue your dreams, and never settle for less. And, as you walk your own journey and your load becomes too much to hold alone, when you stumble and make mistakes, know that I am always here to support you and will love you through even your weakest moments. Wherever you go in this life, my heart will always be your home.
And in your own words, "Ya bomb digs!" Happy 4th birthday my sweet girl.